Omg this made me laugh out loud! Just started dating apps and omg it is tough out there! How many men taking photos up way to close on their iPad?! So weird
Speaking as a champion of internet dating (I think you can say that if you met your spouse through it, right?), I think most men just take it far too seriously. Be yourselves, chaps, that PUA bullshit is such an obvious ill-fitting suit. Apparently it's actually smellable through the screen.
Ironically I think the guy doing the hoovering in a bandana was probably doing just that...
🤣🤣🤣🤣 You are a champion from back in the day ! Dating apps these days are a different kettle of fish 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ - and yes how weird I can smell them through the screen 🤦🏻♀️🤣🤣
Just imagine -silver surfers ... an endless stream of scrap heap lotharios mostly appearing in the classic bathroom mirror top-off snap-shot - holding the dog (just don't)
or the casual lean on the handrail of a medina - in a holiday-blue shirt, gazing at a luckier buggers boat
and the 'early retirement' chat up lie - 'once in tv - now foot loose and fancy free - looking for a travelling companion'
And don't think for one second that looking for 'a cuddle on the sofa, maybe more' holds any appeal.
It’s a dumpster fire honestly. Thank you for gamely enduring it for the benefit of your stories!
So many odd first messages. In response to a statement in my bio that I enjoy ‘eating my body weight in pasta’, a guy opened the conversation with me by GUESSING MY WEIGHT. Like literally the message was just ‘hmmm let me guess…52kg?’. Tell me you don’t know any women without telling me you don’t know any women, I guess.
And bonus points for the adult man who looked normal but whose opening message after we matched was ‘tell me Susan, are you completely ready to date? 🙊🙈’. The creepy monkey emojis. It was a violent level of ick.
🤣🤣 oh dear ! It’s a total shit show out there isn’t it. I’m glad I get to write the stories though and share the absurdity of it all 😁 thanks for reading 😊
The smell o vision is just brilliant. I think that must be extreme instinct kicking in. When you get a whiff of freshly cut grass or roses 🌹 surely it’s a sign from the gods.
That was very funny - Lynx Africa really should come with a trigger warning for both women and men, takes me right back to my teenage years. And not in a good way... 🤣
God, Francis - I feel a little queasy and also I laughed a lot. These guys out there…
The message that stands out as the weirdest was after we’d messaged back and forth a few days, he asked if I had cute feet. Thinking I’d test his humor (bc, dude really?!?), I sent a pic of troll feet and said, “like this?” It was in an app that you had to consent and click on the picture before seeing what it was. He responded back something like, “oh yeah, we’ll get along just fine” and I thought “phew, he has a sense of humor about it.
Then, the next morning I got a disappointed message from him complaining he thought I sent my actual feet…and somehow I felt grosser about it all then if he had asked to see my boobs. So much ick. Immediately unmatched and never looked back.
Oh hahahaha Sara !!!! Of course he was expecting your real feet , especially if that’s what he’s into. 🤣 There are so many men into feet !! It’s sooooo weird !!!! I actually have a story about this ! Maybe I’ll write it up someday ! Not sure yet 🤣
Haha! Of course you have a story about it! I know it's a thing, but I was still like...really? After just a few days' chat, you're going to try to get your jollies off to a stranger's feet? SO not into that. lol.
Ok obviously you'll realize I have a lot to say on this topic and all of this is hilarious. I do have a slight concern though. Why is your therapist encouraging you to do something that seems to have an effect on your mental health? Because dating apps do that to you. I recommend reading Shani silver who actually talks abt this stuff really really well. I even bought her book. It's quite good.
As for my worst dating stories, I really hate putting my articles in other people's comments but I did write one that answers your question exactly. It's abt dating Sagittarius men on tinder!
I think she just feels desperate for me 🤣🤣 obviously it’s my choice😊 I’ll have a look at that book, thanks for that. I really look forward to reading your dating stories, Sagittarius men 🤣🤣I dated a Sagittarius love bomber for 8 months !! He did me real dirty !!
Oh God, Francis, being able to smell a guy through the screen… I am laughing and cringing at the same time. It sounds like your dating photo coaching business idea is much-needed.
Ahahahaaaa the smell comment had me laughing out loud! Weird but actually now you mention it, true! 😂
🤣🤣🤣 it’s so off putting 🤦🏻♀️ at this rate with all the rancid smells , I won’t match with anyone 😭 so glad you enjoyed it 😁
I'm just going to say it: men are weird.
Tell me about it 😆
I'm afraid I have no advice to offer anyone, man or woman, on dating apps and I've got no stories to share because I haven't used any 😔. I'm useless!
But I enjoyed this nonetheless - I'm living vicariously through you, as best I can 😆
I wouldn’t say your useless, just smart to avoid the damn things 😁
Eh, just hang around in cafes, or ask your friends if they know anyone. Gotta be better than this!
Haha , I’ve tried everything! I’m slowly giving up 🤷🏻♀️😆
Omg, it’s been a long time off the apps for me. It’s so refreshing that men’s approach to wooing women has not changed one iota! 🙄🤣
🤣🤣🤣 it’s shocking isn’t it!
Omg this made me laugh out loud! Just started dating apps and omg it is tough out there! How many men taking photos up way to close on their iPad?! So weird
Hahaha , I wish you all the luck in the world 😆 the pics are crazy. Thanks for reading 😊
Speaking as a champion of internet dating (I think you can say that if you met your spouse through it, right?), I think most men just take it far too seriously. Be yourselves, chaps, that PUA bullshit is such an obvious ill-fitting suit. Apparently it's actually smellable through the screen.
Ironically I think the guy doing the hoovering in a bandana was probably doing just that...
🤣🤣🤣🤣 You are a champion from back in the day ! Dating apps these days are a different kettle of fish 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ - and yes how weird I can smell them through the screen 🤦🏻♀️🤣🤣
I'm like a retired old pro footballer commentating on the modern game. Haven't got a clue, but that doesn't stop me.
Hahaha, please continue I love your comments 😃
Just imagine -silver surfers ... an endless stream of scrap heap lotharios mostly appearing in the classic bathroom mirror top-off snap-shot - holding the dog (just don't)
or the casual lean on the handrail of a medina - in a holiday-blue shirt, gazing at a luckier buggers boat
and the 'early retirement' chat up lie - 'once in tv - now foot loose and fancy free - looking for a travelling companion'
And don't think for one second that looking for 'a cuddle on the sofa, maybe more' holds any appeal.
Hahaha this is also so spot on Cherry , bathroom mirror selfie top off or public toilet, urinals in the background 🤦🏻♀️🤣🤣🤣
It’s a dumpster fire honestly. Thank you for gamely enduring it for the benefit of your stories!
So many odd first messages. In response to a statement in my bio that I enjoy ‘eating my body weight in pasta’, a guy opened the conversation with me by GUESSING MY WEIGHT. Like literally the message was just ‘hmmm let me guess…52kg?’. Tell me you don’t know any women without telling me you don’t know any women, I guess.
And bonus points for the adult man who looked normal but whose opening message after we matched was ‘tell me Susan, are you completely ready to date? 🙊🙈’. The creepy monkey emojis. It was a violent level of ick.
🤣🤣 oh dear ! It’s a total shit show out there isn’t it. I’m glad I get to write the stories though and share the absurdity of it all 😁 thanks for reading 😊
The smell o vision is just brilliant. I think that must be extreme instinct kicking in. When you get a whiff of freshly cut grass or roses 🌹 surely it’s a sign from the gods.
Hahaha, let’s hope Margaret , it’s very rare these days 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤣🤣
That was very funny - Lynx Africa really should come with a trigger warning for both women and men, takes me right back to my teenage years. And not in a good way... 🤣
Hahaha, thanks for reading Matt
God, Francis - I feel a little queasy and also I laughed a lot. These guys out there…
The message that stands out as the weirdest was after we’d messaged back and forth a few days, he asked if I had cute feet. Thinking I’d test his humor (bc, dude really?!?), I sent a pic of troll feet and said, “like this?” It was in an app that you had to consent and click on the picture before seeing what it was. He responded back something like, “oh yeah, we’ll get along just fine” and I thought “phew, he has a sense of humor about it.
Then, the next morning I got a disappointed message from him complaining he thought I sent my actual feet…and somehow I felt grosser about it all then if he had asked to see my boobs. So much ick. Immediately unmatched and never looked back.
Oh hahahaha Sara !!!! Of course he was expecting your real feet , especially if that’s what he’s into. 🤣 There are so many men into feet !! It’s sooooo weird !!!! I actually have a story about this ! Maybe I’ll write it up someday ! Not sure yet 🤣
Haha! Of course you have a story about it! I know it's a thing, but I was still like...really? After just a few days' chat, you're going to try to get your jollies off to a stranger's feet? SO not into that. lol.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Ok obviously you'll realize I have a lot to say on this topic and all of this is hilarious. I do have a slight concern though. Why is your therapist encouraging you to do something that seems to have an effect on your mental health? Because dating apps do that to you. I recommend reading Shani silver who actually talks abt this stuff really really well. I even bought her book. It's quite good.
As for my worst dating stories, I really hate putting my articles in other people's comments but I did write one that answers your question exactly. It's abt dating Sagittarius men on tinder!
I think she just feels desperate for me 🤣🤣 obviously it’s my choice😊 I’ll have a look at that book, thanks for that. I really look forward to reading your dating stories, Sagittarius men 🤣🤣I dated a Sagittarius love bomber for 8 months !! He did me real dirty !!
Hi Francis I really enjoyed reading your blog on dating…or not! very well written-please write more about your adventures 🙋♀️
Haha, thanks Ruth, I’ve plenty more to write about. So glad you are enjoying. Thank you 😊
Oh God, Francis, being able to smell a guy through the screen… I am laughing and cringing at the same time. It sounds like your dating photo coaching business idea is much-needed.
Hahah Wendy, think how I feel , it’s a real spanner in the works 🤦🏻♀️😆😆 yes! I may look into the new business 😆
This did make me laugh, hope you had fun writing it. You have nailed the nonsense, well written. 👏🙂.
Haha, thanks Tania, had my hands on my head, wondering how did I get to 54 and dealing with this nonsense 🤣🤣 thank you for reading 😁